Connecting the dots

Many students of spiritual Masters, when they look back along the path of their spiritual journey, often feel that there were a series  of significant "dots" that had to be connected in order for them to find that path; life events through which Divine Grace and the spiritual Master’s concern drew them ever closer to the Source.

Lunthita organises our Peace Run events in Florida

My own story goes back to a few months prior to my birth. My parents emigrated from the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, the Caribbean nation of Haiti. By the time they married they lived almost a middle-class life, by American standards. They built their own home, my mother owned a very successful business as a seamstress and my father worked as an accountant. They had no real reason to leave Haiti, yet they felt a very strong pull to establish a new life in the United States.

But it was 1963, and the chance of an expectant mother (I was due in two months) from a poor country getting a visa to the United States was very small. Lo and behold, the US Embassy in Port-au-Prince granted my parents visas. They sold everything, including their house, packed up and made their way to the 'Big Apple'. I was born in Manhattan. We later moved to Brooklyn, where we stayed until my father decided that the family should move to Miami ... fast-forward eight years to 1971.

The winter before my eighth birthday, as my parents were growing tired of the cold, snow, trains and concrete, they decided that Miami would become their new home and we would move before the next winter. I had completed about a month in third grade when we moved. As in New York, my parents enrolled me in Catholic school. Both my mother and I really disliked moving to Florida. We were saddened by having to leave the family behind. Being an only child, I missed my cousins and friends and I found my new neighbourhood friends so unadventuresome, as they only wanted to stay indoors, playing house and dolls. In New York, when the weather was pleasant, life for an 8-year-old was always outside. In Miami, the heat and humidity which pervaded most of the year meant parents kept their children more indoors.

Although life in Florida always seemed somewhat of a second choice for me, there was one significant experience which, to date, always remains with me. About a year or so after we moved to Miami, my fourth-grade class was chosen to sing during one of the daytime masses. At that time, St. Mary‘s in Miami was the only cathedral, and so on special days we would attend mass in this very beautiful church. Our performance consisted of Latin songs. l can still hear one of the songs so clearly in my mind – Kyrie Eleison. I was transported by the experience of hearing our little angelic voices echo in this beautiful cathedral – my first conscious spiritual experience.

My melancholic longing for life back in New York caused me to vow to return once I was 18. My mom and I would go back every so often, but once I reached 12 and could travel alone, I would go to New York every summer and stay for as long as I was permitted to. My favourite destination was with my favourite cousins, who lived in Queens Village.

During these years I would have existentialist-type of experiences of 'not feeling real'. This brings me to my second conscious spiritual experience. One midday, I was in the lunch line of our school cafeteria. I never shared these experiences with anyone else, but this time the feeling was so strong that I began to head towards Sister Mary, my teacher that year. I desperately needed to ask her, 'Do I exist?' But my fear of her reaction caused me to detour towards my friends‘ table.

At 15, I was a regular member of the church youth group, attending the youth mass on Friday nights, and despite Saturday night partying, I would also make the Sunday morning mass with my parents. 

One Christmas Eve, a couple months after my 16th birthday, my parents and I attended the special midnight mass. Suddenly, in the middle of the mass, a fellow church member had a heart attack. I had mixed feelings of compassion for him, along with a selfish disappointment that the beautiful mass had been interrupted. Shortly after, I decided that church was not for me and discontinued attending. On the one hand, the experience during mass was very uplifting – the singing, the contemplation, the peace – but once I left church it somehow vanished. That is why I was so disappointed on Christmas Eve. You see, Christmas mass was the highest experience of the entire year, and I would have to wait a whole twelve months to feel that peace and joy again!

My best friend in high school, who was a year ahead of me, began her studies at the University of Miami (UM). When I did not have to work early Sunday morning, I would spend the weekend with her at the campus dorm, enjoying the college life, while still a high school student. On one of these weekends I became friends with someone who would become a sort of 'mentor' to me. Most people found Johnny a bit odd, as he was a free thinker. He spoke and acted quite different from the rest of us, but I found him refreshing and fascinating. I learned about the purpose of yoga, the importance of eating healthy, and a vegetarian diet. I was not a big meat eater – I disliked meat as a child and wanted to become vegetarian. My parents would not allow it before, but in the summer before my 18th birthday I was allowed to make my own decisions. There was much to learn about 'eating healthy', as Pepsi Cola and chocolate cake were my breakfast of choice; the caffeine and sugar helped me to maintain an active life of lots of late night dancing, a part-time job evenings and weekends, little sleep and a challenging academic schedule, as I prepared for pre-medical studies.

Whether or not Johnny really was from Venus, I believed him and it was through him that I attended several different types of meditations, once I became a student at UM. We attended satsang at people‘s homes, free meditations and meals at a Hindu Temple Sundays, and I read a few spiritual books. On my own I began reading the Bible and nearly converted to a group who very strictly followed the Old Testament. A childhood friend, who was like a sister to me, was a member. They led a very clean lifestyle and all sounded good, except for their strong dislike for people who were NOT of colour.

Around this same time I attended several consecutive meditation classes on campus. Although I enjoyed them, I remember sitting in the class feeling as if a storm were raging inside of me. I was having such difficulty. Then I heard a voice say, 'You are not ready!' It was quite surprising, as I was not used to hearing inner voices. But I felt such a relief and inwardly answered, 'OK, that explains it'. I followed the voice and stopped trying to meditate.

As my friendship with Johnny waned, so did my spiritual seeking. I remained a vegetarian and occasionally over the years would try to meditate using a flute tape I had purchased in the meditation classes at UM. After a few minutes of trying to meditate I would think, 'Oh, this music is so weird. How is someone supposed to meditate to this?'

At 26, some eight or nine years later, I had what seemed to be an ideal life – a good job at the University of Miami, earning a graduate degree part-time in the evenings at no cost, and good relationships – but something inside me began to question this life. Am I happy? Who am I? Why am I here? Will I reach my parents' age and find that I am still looking for happiness? 

At one point I began having what I would now call anxiety attacks, trying to figure it all out. I began seeking again, mixing with spiritual people, visiting health food stores, reading new age magazines. Once more I sat down to meditate and pulled out the 'weird' flute tape. This time the tape broke!

Around that same time, at the check-out line of the health food store I had begun to frequent, the cashier and I recognised each other. The questions went back and forth – Had he been one of my professors? Had I ever been to a meditation class? Did I do a meditation at UM? Finally, we made the connection he had been one of the instructors at my meditation class, where I got the "inner message". 

He then asked "Are you still meditating?". Immediately I felt as if my heart had dropped to the floor. As I answered, "No", a great sorrow came over me. I heard a voice saying, "All these years... you have not meditated!" Clearly it was the voice of the Divine – that same inner voice that told me, "You are not ready", and now years later asking me why I had waited so long!

It has been nearly three decades now since becoming a member of the Sri Chinmoy Centre, and I will be eternally grateful to the Supreme for guiding me along this path. Things that I never would have dreamed of for myself have developed – long-distance and multi-day running, singing in concerts, helping others learn how to meditate and visiting dozens and dozens of countries with our group. Above all I have been given the opportunity to manifest God‘s Light here on earth!

Cross-posted from www.srichinmoycentre.org

Now you are in the boat

by Kaushalya Casey
Toronto, Canada

Kaushalya - starting out on the spiritual path

In 1971, in the Cover to Cover bookshop on Mountain St. in Montreal, I picked up a copy of Meditations: Food for the Soul and started reading. To my extreme surprise, the words were almost jumping off the pages! Such beauty, truth and immediacy! I had never had such an experience before, although I had read quite a few spiritual books. Having no cash with me, I asked the clerk if I could copy out a few aphorisms. Forty years later, I still have them somewhere in a notebook.

It did not occur to me that I could seek out this profoundly moving author – the transcendental photograph of Sri Chinmoy on the cover seemed to suggest an ancient Chinese Buddha, and I no doubt needed time to move away from a few bad habits acquired in the sixties, along with the rest of my generation.

A year later, I had done just that, and was now living in Vancouver. I saw a poster for the Aum Centre, as the Sri Chinmoy Centre was then called. That same 'Chinese Buddha' was on the flier, and I visited the Centre. Immediately I felt a strong presence in that house, as though I would surely meet a long-lost, familiar and loving friend around any corner. It was palpable. I put a smiling picture of Guru on my wall, and I would wake up at three in the morning to see it smiling powerfully in my direction.

When I wrote requesting to join the path, I told Guru - Sri Chinmoy - that I felt he had already accepted me. The compassion emanating from Guru's photos and the few books then available had stolen my heart. I am forever grateful that no weighty decision-making mental process was needed.

'My Flute' - Sri Chinmoy's beloved collection of poems

A few months later the Vancouver Centre received a LP recording of Guru reciting poems from his book My Flute. Again the power of Guru’s words filled the air. It seemed that we were hearing the actual voice of the universe. The depth and resonance of Guru’s words created a brand new experience for my poetic world. My Flute was like Heaven revealing itself, moment to moment, poem by poem.

In December 1972, I went to New York for the first time and my first meditation was at Sarama’s house. A blessed feeling of relief and lightness came over me: A being of such love and beauty truly existed with us here on earth! We were invited to Guru’s house, and even had the opportunity to ask questions and enjoy some inspiring conversations. Without even planning on saying anything, I suddenly said to Guru that I sometimes felt I was too weak for the spiritual life.

Guru replied - I cannot quote exactly - "Who tells you that? It is all your imagination. You have a good aspiring soul and you will do well on our path. Now you are in the boat. Just don’t jump out of the boat or you will be devoured by ignorance-sea."

I have often been thankful for those words, and I hope they give encouragement to some seeker weathering the occasional stormy elements.

Cross-posted from www.srichinmoycentre.org

Never give up!

The spiritual life is not always easy, and sometimes you come up against your own worst qualities in the process of transforming them. Subarnamala explains that the most important thing is to never give up – if you persevere, you will overcome all your obstacles and reach your goal.

Listen to the inner voice

It was a beautiful sunny Games Day at our annual August Celebrations in New York. The teams were North America against Europe, playing soccer, a game Guru used to play at the Ashram and encouraged his disciples to play to foster dynamism, oneness and good old discipline.

On another occasion, Sri Chinmoy plays soccer with his students.

It was an intense game and I was playing defence. One of our players pierced the defence of the European team but the goalie made a beautiful save and the European team made a couple of very fine passes. Suddenly one European player broke away and was coming towards our goalie. I was running after him as I had gone forward to help on the last play and was caught off guard. I ran with all the speed I could gather up and caught up with him. As he was about to kick the ball, I also swung my right foot to block and we both hit our own foot and collapsed on the ground. The game was stopped momentarily. My brother-disciple seems to have gotten the better of it as he was OK, but my foot had inflated in size. I had pulled something, probably a tendon.

Cross-posted from www.srichinmoycentre.org

My 5 a.m. strategic meditations

Do not discard imagination.
Imagination is a solid power;
Imagination is a reality
In the higher worlds.

Sri Chinmoy 1

When I was a fairly new disciple, there was a period of time when I would make a point of getting up to meditate at 5:00 a.m.. Inwardly, I imagined that at 6:00 a.m. hundreds of disciples were sitting in front of Guru for morning meditation, causing me to feel somewhat lost in the crowd. As a result of this inner imagining, I came up with the idea that if I 'arrived' earlier than everyone else, then I would be able sit right in front of Guru and hopefully be the only one with him up until 6:00 a.m. Thus I began my 5:00 a.m. strategic meditations.

After several successful mornings of getting up at the appointed hour, I started to feel that it was imperative that I not be late or miss a morning because I believed that Guru would definitely notice and be very disappointed. Also, I was finding that when my alarm went off, my first thought would always be that Guru was waiting for me, so it became very easy to get up to meditate. I would actually feel excited. In time, this entire experience began to blossom into a wonderful inner relationship with Guru. What started out as imaginary began to take on a precious reality.

A few weeks later, I travelled to New York for a weekend visit. I was very excited at the thought of seeing Guru but, at the same time, I was not expecting any kind of attention. I felt that as I was a new disciple, he still did not really know me outwardly. However, when I went up for prasad, Guru looked at me, gave a big smile and uttered what seemed to be a delighted exclamation of recognition, as though he was extremely happy to finally be able to put a face to the soul who was visiting him each morning.

At that moment, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that an inner relationship with Guru is far more real to him than an outer one.

by Sanchita Fleming
Ottawa, Canada

Cross-posted from www.srichinmoycentre.org

The day when everything began

Even though it happened 20 years ago, I still remember in detail the day when everything began. At the time I was living in Halle an der Saale, a small town in Sachsen-Anhalt. One Saturday evening in summer I was driving home after swimming when I suddenly had the idea to pay a short visit to a friend of mine, a sculptor. Just as I entered his garden, a group of women were leaving. My friend told me that they were coming from Nuremberg every Saturday afternoon to hold a meditation class at his place. "Oh", I thought, "I am interested in that!" By this time I had developed a great inner hunger for spirituality by reading some important books.

I went back the following Saturday. Unfortunately, it was not the same women whose cheerful smiles I remembered well. It was a man who was teaching the class. At this point the group was more advanced and was already meditating the way they usually meditate at the Sri Chinmoy Centres. I could not quite follow. After all, I had never consciously meditated and never received any kind of introduction to meditation. Then I looked at Sri Chinmoy’s books on display, saw his smiling picture on the cover of the book Happiness and thought, "Well, nobody has the capacity to be always happy. This can’t be something authentic; probably it is a sect."

And that is how far it went for me. Nevertheless, I made contact with the man because I planned to move to Nuremberg to study. Maybe I would be able to work for him and make some money, I thought. In the period before moving to Nuremberg, I meditated once in a while following some instructions and otherwise tried to get ready for my new era in Nuremberg.

My move opened a new world for me: anthroposophy. Anthroposophy is a field under the humanities, founded by Rudolf Steiner. It had a great influence on many areas of life – pedagogy, agriculture, art, etc. The Waldorf schools are its best known exponents. I wanted to study eurhythmy, a kind of dance form which visualises music and language through movement. Eurhythmy is very spiritual and is entirely the child of anthroposophy – something quite complicated but most beautiful. I therefore thought that this would be enough in the field of spirituality and that I would not need much else. But as life goes on, one thing follows the other and doors that we did not see before open up all of a sudden.

At some point, the man who had taught the meditation class invited me to go to a fair on the esoteric to help him at his booth there. Since I had never done such a thing, I eagerly agreed. At the age of 21 one is open to the whole world! During the ride I had endless opportunities to ask questions. At the fair, I listened to a music recording by the Nuremberg Sri Chinmoy Centre. It really touched my heart, even though it sometimes seemed a bit off key. I had to have the tape, and someone offered it to me. I still have this tape, and when I listen to it, all those beautiful memories come back... All this happened in 1990, a year after the change in East Germany that set so many things in motion.

When we returned to Nuremberg that evening, I was so inundated by everything that very little was needed for me to feel that I should be part of the group the nice class instructor belonged to. When we said good-bye, he gave me the book Meditation by Sri Chinmoy as a gift and said, "You seem to have the vibration of a disciple."

I went into my apartment, sat on my bed and cried out of gratitude and happiness. At this very moment I know I inwardly became a disciple of Sri Chinmoy and he let me onboard his boat. What happened next? I asked for details about the meditation class and then went to the Sri Chinmoy Centre. The only thing I knew was not to expect anything special. That was a good thing, since I had no special experiences but only felt joy going there. At some point I submitted my picture, but I already knew that I would definitely be accepted by Sri Chinmoy. What else could I have done?

What else is left to say? Gratitude is the only word that comes to me. I am grateful that my life went in this direction, that I found such a great Master and friend who ceaselessly inspires me and lightens my life’s burdens. It is a precious gift, and I am happy to be a part of this beautiful, cheerful family of Sri Chinmoy’s disciples.

We can find Sri Chinmoy only through the heart. Even with limited receptivity we can feel deep within what he can do for us, even if we are not meant for his path. What he gives is so universal, so all-encompassing and illumining that anybody can profit from it. His music, his books and his paintings are portals for anyone to enter into a world of inner upliftment and fulfilment. An open heart and a searching mind are the only requisites.

Cross-posted from www.srichinmoycentre.org

I just knew from the moment I saw him

My search started when I was 15 years old. It all happened very quickly. I just kind of decided that there must be a deeper meaning to life and I didn‘t want to follow in the footsteps of the rest of the world and my parents. So I started searching for a deeper truth. I was going to go into the woods and realise God. I started doing Hatha Yoga and meditating, and I carried this book around in my pocket called How to Survive in the Woods.

I grew up in Queens and I went to Jamaica High School. One day I had just gone to a party, and I was so disillusioned with the world. I was walking down Hillside Avenue when I saw a poster with a picture of Guru. I thought, "Wow!" I was looking for a teacher. The poster had a phone number on it, but I had no pen with me. So I took out my book 'How to Survive in the Woods' and scratched in the phone number with my key.

The next day I called this number and got Dulal on the phone. He was a prominent disciple of Guru‘s who took care of this kind of thing. I told him that I had just turned 16 a week earlier. He said, "Then you probably have long hair?" I said, “No." Then he said, “You probably take drugs?" And I said, "No." So then he said, "All right, you can come on Thursday." I was deeply grateful and mentioned that I had read, "When the seeker is ready, the Master will appear". He replied, "Let us see".

Video
Ashrita talks about how he became Sri Chinmoy's student, and how that journey led him to break multiple world records

Things were a little different in those days (1970). The meditations were in Guru‘s house. For some reason I thought I should wear white, because I was wearing white. I actually got to Guru‘s house early. The door to the front porch was open. I walked in and Guru was sitting there on his couch. I didn‘t know what to do. I was just a kid! I remember I was actually standing in front of Guru, kind of flapping my arms. I got very nervous and Guru asked me who I was. I answered, “Dulal invited me to come." Guru said, “Oh, very good. Please come back in 15 minutes."

A young Ashrita with Sri Chinmoy, early 1970's.

So I came back and I remember waiting outside Guru‘s house with some of the disciples. I was very shy so I didn‘t say anything, but I was amazed how pure everyone looked. When we got inside, Guru had a meditation. It was in the main room of Guru‘s house. Guru asked all the disciples to come up and meditate. There were only about 30 people. As soon as I saw Guru, I saw a holy light around him, and I knew Guru was my Master.

People were getting up and I actually thought I was a disciple. So I started getting up. I was standing, but it was too late – everybody else was already up there meditating. Then everybody came back to their seats. Guru saw me standing there and said, “Now, new people come up and meditate." So I went up and meditated and that was it. I just knew from the moment I saw Guru that he was my teacher.

Cross-posted from www.srichinmoycentre.org

The Master's concern

I lived in Miami for ten years. It is the longest that I have lived in any one place. I came to Miami as a student, became a disciple of Sri Chinmoy, and stayed on there to work. Lunthita and I also started a centre in Hialeah, a largely Hispanic neighborhood, at Guru’s request.

In the summer of 2001, I had a dream where Guru asked me to come to his house in the evenings to water his plants. Even in my dream I found myself saying, "But Guru, I live in Miami". Guru did not reply.

The dream was so vivid and so unusual that I called New York to see if I could ask Guru about it. Guru was told about the dream and said, "I am very proud of her. She can come to New York if she wants to." I was happy but did not feel that I had to move since Guru had requested Lunthita and me to work on building the Hialeah Centre.

Video
Mahatapa talks about what brought her to meditation, and how she became a disciple of Sri Chinmoy

In November of 2001, the president of the company where I was working told me that he wanted to move the office from Miami to New Jersey and that if I wanted to stay with the company I would also need to move. He knew about my spiritual life and said that I should ask Guru. I asked, but for three months there was no reply.

When I returned from the Christmas trip I still did not have an answer. In February my boss told me that I had three weeks to make my decision. I asked Guru again through one of his secretaries, and the answer came back: 'Fine.' My boss wanted me to move immediately, and so in a matter of three weeks, I packed my clothes and some books in my car, loaded the car on the train and moved to New Jersey.

In about three months after coming to New Jersey, my job came to an end. The company was not doing well and had to let me go. And then I crashed my car. I had no easy way to go from New Jersey to New York, but a part of me was really afraid of the big city, so I continued to live in New Jersey and look for jobs there.

Finally, after six months of futile search, it came to me that it did not make sense to stay in New Jersey without a job and a car, when Guru was in New York. So I asked Guru if I could move to Queens.

Coming to New York was not so bad. I still did not have work, but I could spend all my time at Aspiration-Ground (where Sri Chinmoy would meditate with his students) or running errands and being with Guru. It was blissful. Even now I wonder how I survived over a year without any money coming in, but I believe Guru took away all my anxieties. Guru’s poem "My child, do not plan, do not plan. I have everything planned for you..." was my daily inspiration and I strongly felt that the perfect job that I needed was being created for me. I also felt that Sri Chinmoy knew everything and I did not have to outwardly tell him anything.

I had applied for a teaching position to a college in Manhattan that had a couple of openings in my field. The day before the interview I received a call from Guru. This for me was totally unprecedented. Guru told me that he was concerned that I did not have a job and that I should take any job, whatever it might be. I had the opportunity to tell him about the interview the following day. He also inquired very closely about my financial situation. I told him that I would be fine for a few more months. He said that if I did not tell him if I was short of money, then he would sue me in the court of the Supreme 1. Guru’s concern touched me immensely.

The interview went well. The day after the interview I was sitting at Annam Brahma writing a thank-you note to Guru for his concern. As I was writing the note, a call came from the provost of the college making me a formal offer. I had the opportunity to include that in my note.

But the story does not end here. The job offer came in May but college did not start until September. So that summer I used every opportunity that I had to be around Guru. One day after a Saturday morning race, Guru ended with a particularly heart-melting race prayer-song: 

I love my Lord, I love my Lord.
Therefore, I cry and cry.
I need my Lord, I need my Lord.
Therefore, I try and try.

Sri Chinmoy 2

As he was leaving, someone came up and said that Guru wanted me to come to his house. In my sweaty running outfit I went to Guru’s house, embarrassed that I had not had a chance to shower and clean up. Guru gave me an envelope with many small birds inside a big bird. He said, "I had wanted to give you some money but it took me so long. Therefore, I have given you some more".

I was stunned – so stunned that I could not even feel or express gratitude. I always feel that Guru’s needs are so much more – he has to take care of so many other people and things. For me, it is only one person that I have to take care of. I prayed to Guru to give me more gratitude in my life.

In September I started teaching. It was another month before I got my first salary in hand. By then I had really run out of money. If it were not for Guru’s blessing-gift, I would have been in trouble. It is clear that he knew everything...and that he took care of everything.

The lines come back:

My child, My child, do not plan; do not plan! I have already planned everything for you. Just play with me and play for Me. I shall not fail you. I shall not only take you to your destined goal but also give you My Heart of infinite Love and My Eye of infinite Compassion.

Sri Chinmoy 3

Cross-posted from www.srichinmoycentre.org

Time seemed to freeze

As a relatively new disciple, I was really fortunate in that my good friends at the Ottawa Centre would take me down to New York a lot! Between 2005 and 2007, I would spring at literally every opportunity I got. Looking back, I am extremely grateful to have been able to see Guru so much in those two years. I had no idea at the time how much I would come to cherish all of those moments.

I recall one time in 2006 when the Christmas trip had just ended, and a car load of us who hadn’t seen Guru for about three months eagerly made the journey to Queens. After the morning function I had this really restless feeling; I was so full of energy and really needed something to do. The first idea that struck me was to go to Kritagyata’s house and see if they needed help with anything there. Sure enough, a project was in the works, so a few girls and I got right to it.

After a couple of hours Kritagyata came running in, "Go outside! Guru is here!" I was shocked and really excited that Guru had come. (Talk about being in the right place at the right time!) When we went outside, Guru was right out front sitting in the passenger seat of a car with the window rolled down. He was calling us: "Come, come.", He proceeded to hand each of us a sandwich, one by one.

When I went to take mine I looked into Guru’s eyes and time seemed to freeze; I had never physically been that close to Guru before, and the power of his presence was so striking. I felt like he knew everything about me and was looking directly into my soul. I felt Guru pouring all of his love into me and it brought tears to my eyes. I had never felt that loved by anyone before in my life.

I inwardly tried to bring my gratitude to the fore but I felt like Guru’s gratitude toward me was way stronger than any gratitude I could show him. It was really overwhelming. After what felt like a long time, but in reality was probably only a few seconds, Guru nodded his head as he placed the prasad into my hands.

I found a quiet spot to go eat my sandwich; I just sat there in silence, basking in Guru’s light. That was the first time I ever had an eggplant hero. Now they are a favourite, as I am reminded of this special day every time I eat one. I never thought that a sandwich could be a catalyst for such a beautiful spiritual experience!

Cross-posted from www.srichinmoycentre.org

It does not matter which spoon you use

by Brahmacharini Rebidoux
St. John's, Canada

Though we all share the same spiritual path, our Guru, Sri Chinmoy, deals with each soul that he has accepted individually and uniquely, calling them forward, upward, and inward in just the way each disciple needs.

One of the ways in which he has dealt with me, since pretty much the beginning of my disciple life, has been through dreams – very vivid, very illumining communications of spiritual meaning, instruction, comfort, etc., usually with Guru being directly present in the dream.

One inspiring dream I had came right at the beginning of my disciple life, when I was a Master’s student in philosophy and, while not irreligious, was looking for God (as philosophers generally do) in the form of impersonal 'Truth'. I was having difficulty with Sri Chinmoy's path because I was feeling that it was too devotionally oriented and not intellectually rigorous enough.

Guru, of course, could have just laughed at my mind; but instead, he communicated to me just what I needed to know in a way that was illumining while also not being simply dismissive of the mind.

I had a dream in which I was, with other disciples, at a great banquet. Everyone was eating most ravenously, but I, sitting off by myself, refused to eat because I didn’t like the spoon that I had been given. I kept trying to get the servers’ attention so that I could get another spoon, but they were ignoring me. Suddenly Guru was beside me, and in the most tender, but also bliss-filled voice, he said to me: “Once you taste the soup, you will see that it does not matter which spoon you use". The spoon, of course, I understood to be the path, and the soup to be God.

And now, many years later, in teaching philosophy and religious studies at university in Newfoundland, I still feel – or rather, I feel ever more and more – the potency of the illumination of that dream. No matter which religion I teach, I try to realise God’s presence and light and unique manifestation in that tradition. When I teach Islam, I become as though a Muslim in my heart; when I teach Buddhism, I’m a Buddhist; when I teach Christianity, a Christian; etc. And in so doing, I have never felt Guru or Guru’s path to be far away from me. He has all along been right there, it seems, studying and teaching and even 'realising', right along with me and inside of me. And ever more and more have I felt, therefore, the growing and steady presence of the Supreme Beloved – who, for me, is 'Truth' personalized – hidden within all traditions and within all things, to which Guru has ever been pointing and leading us all.

Cross-posted from www.srichinmoycentre.org

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